Gotta run!

Yesterday, I woke up with a disturbing sensation in my belly. It appeared that the guy who cooked my dinner the previous night forgot to wash the feces off his thumb after he took a shit. I have forgiven him for that because well, shit happens. And unfortunately sometimes, it keeps happening and happening and happening. I'm tired of this shit, let me tell you. But one day, when the water runs dry, the dam will be rebuilt.

I've tried almost everything at this point. I got some Western meds at the pharmacy yesterday afternoon after telling everyone I had diarrhea. That was pleasant. The three girls smiled and asked for my phone number simultaneously. I told them I was busy that night, I had a date with John. And tonight, well I have a date with Loo. They'll have to wait in line, but I might be in there a while.

The Western meds, Imodium and Pepto Bismol, have not yet taken their effect. Usually, Imodium creates a fist out of your rectum and you're unable to shit for days. Pardon me for the unpleasantries, but it must be said. I can't tell you why. I'm happy that I'm not a tight asshole, just the same, normal one you've come to know and love over these years. And the Pepto, what the hell? Come on you guys...

Now, I'm taking this Dragon Elixir, a natural Vietnamese medicine that has also yet to take full effect. I dig its natural origins, but they mean nothing to me if they can't stop or at least slow the flow. Come on, dragons are supposed to be strong! I've also eaten nothing but bread and gatorade today. Isn't that supposed to be good?

I know bananas are supposed to be a natural remedy as well, but I hate bananas. I'd rather suffer the 'rhea. Oh, and I just rubbed some medicinal oil on my belly. That's supposed to have some kind of effect too, but I'm not sure what it does other than give me that warm, burning feeling. I might explode at any minute!

Well, at least it's not painful. I'm getting a kick out of telling people I have 'tieu chay' - it's much better than saying diarrhea. I hate that. But the problem is I have to go to work and well, having this issue presents some problems. So, I will double up the underwear again today just in case because you never know. You don't! I'll relish the freedom of the boxers again when my worries subside.

I'm now down to 80kg, which is 176 pounds. I think that's my lowest since high school. Probably mostly water. Don't worry about me, this will be reconciled soon I believe. And I'll gain back those kilos. Talk to you soon. Thanks for your concern.