I live next to a freeway

At first, I thought it was great to be tucked away down an alley somewhere in the middle of District 3 surrounded by throngs of locals. I suppose anywhere you go in this country you are going to be the midst of many. There is no escaping that and I'm not saying that is a bad thing. Just to clarify.

I have a nice balcony overlooking the alley below and I thought it would be nice to sit there on occasion and watch the action. Now, I realize this "alley" is actually a major artery connecting two busy streets and so it is often jammed with people in a hurry, also known as assholes.

I move over to the side to let the person coming at me pass me easily. But the dumb fuck behind me honks at me and goes instead. This has happened a lot already. A lot of dumb inconsiderate fucks. There is way too much horn blowing around here. They are used way too often.

I mean, seriously, imagine hearing one of these prepubescent squeaks of masculinity all the time. Well, at least I don't hear them from midnight to about six in the morning. But at six, the fun begins again as do the dogs and it's only wishful thinking that keeps me in bed until I rise.

I'm hoping I'll get used to it. Or maybe I'll start working in the mornings. What do you do if you can't beat 'em? You join 'em. I wish I could beat 'em though. With a stick. A long, hard, knobby stick with thorns at the end. Then I'd be laughing well into my dreams.

But the more likely scenario is this. Overrun with sleep deprivation in a state of delirium, I will jump off the balcony onto a honking motorist, a barking dog and a crying baby and put us all out of our misery. Or maybe I'll start wearing ear plugs again. Or I'll find some sleeping pills.