I told myself I wasn't going to buy anything!

Well, so much for that. I didn't want to fill up my bag with a bunch of tourist tchotchke. Alas. It's only three weeks into my trip and I have failed. The problem is that everything is so cheap. A new t-shirt for $2? Nah, I don't need one, I already brought too many. But it's only $2! And it's cool. And I'm helping support the local economy.

These night markets are a staple in every town I've been in and they provide relief from some of those boring moments I discussed in my last blog. Ok, I'm bored, I'll go walk around the market again. The fourth time through, I can't help but look at that t-shirt and then I feel like an ass for not paying the measily $2. I figure it's worth it just to have something to do. And I even get something to wear as well.

I think in a sense it's kind of a desire to fit in. Everyone has to have a Beerlao t-shirt. Now I have two. Consumerism has got the best of me. Even after a day in Bangkok and seeing all the goods for sale, I realized I was going to fold and buy something eventually. All of a sudden I saw myself getting dreads, fisherman pants, a Che shirt, some Italian sunglasses and a beaded necklace. Everyone else is doing it, so why not me too?

Fortunately I haven't gone that far yet, but I have purchased three t-shirts, one "Long Live The King" bracelet (don't be jealous, seriously), one pair of flip flops, one pair of fake Birkenstocks, one embroidered children's book and one shoulder bag. And I haven't gotten rid of a thing! I was going to abide by my "one in, one out" policy, but I don't know what to ditch first. Probably the flip flops and fake Birkenstocks...things are cheap, but I can't say much about quality!

So now, my goal is to resist further temptation. I will likely fail, but perhaps I will succeed in not breaking the zipper on my pack. Ideally, I will only buy things like food & drink, accommodation, transportation and other forms of entertainment such as guided tours and massage. Things that provide memories. Things that fill my belly, not my suitcase. Just no more things!

Boredom

I am fucking bored. I will admit it. Not of traveling, no. But in trying to fill those spaces between taking the bus, finding accommodation, going to the bathroom, basic chit chat and finding a bite to eat. I've read enough. I think I've written enough. And now, I've certainly eaten enough. If I could just learn one thing on this trip, it would be to listen to myself and stop eating to conceal what's really going on. What is really going on?

For crying out loud. For heaven's sake. Heaven's to Betsy. Fer fuck's sake mate. This place is teeming with tourists. I am a penny in a jar of loose change. A minnow in a gigantic aquarium. Nobody notices me. I feel like a shadow in the night. I am ok with all that. The problem lies with my free time. Maybe I pretend to be alright with all that. What is all that?

So I check in to my new guest house, close to the river and situated in a beautiful valley in central Laos. I am thrilled to be here and can't wait to partake in many of the various outdoor activities. I go walk around and get myself signed up for some rock climbing tomorrow. I go eat. A full belly later, something is still missing. I go walk around. Then what? I head back to my room over the rickety bridge, along the river's edge in the dark, through a field and back to my dimly lit room. It's only 8pm and I certainly can't go to bed. It's too dark to read and I'm done writing for the day. I put on some trousers and head back to town out after applying some 6.6% DEET to my legs, arms and neck.

I go walk around. This place is teeming with tourists. I recognize faces from the boat days ago. That's all it is. Recognition. Because we shared that experience does not make us instantaneous friends. I decide to sit down at another restaurant. The Organic Farm Cafe. Another bite to eat perhaps. Another beer. I am full, but still empty and bored. So I sit and order another beer, a different "fair trade" beer. Just to try it. Just for the experience. And why not order some more food? How 'bout some deep fried cashews?

Oh, that's me. Now I'm killing time on the Internet. Writing about my follies and perhaps wishing I could speed up time a little so my eyes would stay closed longer with each blink, so it would be 11pm instead of 10pm, so it would be that much closer to bedtime and I could sleep away the residual boredom before I find another beer. Another bite to eat. To forget my feelings and not deal with what's really going on. What is really going on?

Slow boating the Mekong

Wow, that only took a good 30 minutes to sort through my pictures and finally select a scenic one for this post. Sometimes the internet cafes can be a bit deceiving with all their new-fangled top-of-the-line high-tech space-age gadgetry, but once you get online you realize even with all that, it ain't shit if you don't have a fast connection. So, here I am in Luang Prabang, Laos on Christmas Eve about to pound my keyboard whilst muttering profanities under my breath, spittle hitting the monitor. If you know me well, you'd know that a slow internet connection and sitting in traffic are among my top pet peeves. Instead of unleashing my fury and showing my ugly side, I have been ferociously nibbling away at my cashews thanking them for making me breathe. I need to do something about that, I know.

So, today is my first real day in Laos. I left the Thai border in Chiang Khong a couple days ago and took a ferry (i.e. a real skinny boat) across the Mekong River to Laos. There we dealt with the typical border chaos involving forms, passports and money exchange. Finally, we were shuttled off in the back of a pick-up, about 8 of us, to where the "slow boats" were docked. I had heard about this 2-day "slow boat" ride down the Mekong to Luang Prabang. It sounded so glamorous and a fantastic way to see the countryside.

Now that I am here, I would recommend it, but only for the experience. The first day, two boats departed, each with about 100 people on board. The wooden pew-like seating was probably some of the most uncomfortable I've had to endure in my life, but that's coming from someone who can barely endure two hours in a reclining cushioned seat at the movies. Alternating cheek to cheek, front to back, sitting on my sleeping bag, going for walks - nothing really worked to ease the pressure. It turned out to be more enjoyable in the back of the boat when the smokers had departed and all I had to inhale was diesel exhaust. At least I could stand against the rail.

The next day, after spending the night in a village solely dependent on the tourists that stayed there (it seemed that way), we were off again, this time both boats packed onto one. So, we had 200 or more people on a slightly larger boat crammed for 8 more hours! Fortunately I didn't get a regular seat and got one of those plastic stackable chairs instead. A pink one. Way more doable, but by hour five I was ready to swim the rest of the way.

It was time to smile and exhale when we finally pulled into town late afternoon yesterday. After walking through the markets and hearing virtually every guest house say "full" I opted for the more expensive, but fairly decadent room. It was $11 and I had a double bed, a single bed, overhead fan, a/c, own bathroom with a fantastically hot shower and overall very clean accommodation. For me, it was deluxe, but I wanted to spend less so I downgraded this morning. Now I've got a double bed and a shared bathroom for $6 for the next couple nights, the holidays. Instead of treating myself, I downgrade, how's that for a Christmas present?

But seriously, I'm not going to be spending the next couple days in my room or in the shower, so basic digs are all I need. The extra cash, I can find a way to spend. Maybe I'll update my wardrobe, a new t-shirt for 2 bucks, or pamper myself, an hour massage for 5, and maybe splurge on a few beers. Last night, I happened upon an outdoor vegetarian buffet for 5,000k which amounts to 50 cents. All-you-can-eat style, well at least as much as you can fit on a plate, then it's heated on a wok, thrown back on the plate and bam! Eat your heart out. If you want fresh salad rolls, that's a whopping extra 10 cents each with peanut sauce. And a beer Lao, a big one mind you, that's another dollar. So, if you want to meet me out here for Christmas, you know where to find me!

Pai Woodstock

Pai is a small town up in Northern Thailand. It is very touristy, but it has a nice vibe and a thriving music scene. Last night was Pai Woodstock and there were flyers everywhere so why not?

I took some videos of the music, some original tunes and a lot of Doors, Jimi Hendrix, Bob Marley and Ben Harper covers. The music was entertaining and it was a great place to mingle with drunken tourists. I enjoyed my first pop in a long time and soaked up the scene from a different, sober perspective.

Returning home was entertaining as the setting for the "festival" was a couple kilometers from town. I had given this heavier girl a ride to the show and it difficult to stay balanced. Adding a third person on the way home was even more ridiculous, but we made it. My sobriety might be questioned for that decision, but I assure you it was only Sprite! Clearly, I am not a role model.

A case of Bangkok belly

I don't know what the hell I got yesterday, but let me just be grateful it has mostly gone away. I woke up a bit queasy, a little headache and a little bellyache, but nothing I thought a small breakfast couldn't fix. Boy was I wrong. The watermelon smoothie and toast did nothing to help my situation. Instead of just breakfast, I got lunch & dinner too, but with a side of acid.

I was hoping to get out of Chiang Mai where I had been residing the previous 4 nights. After breakfast, I changed my mind after realizing a 3 hour bus ride would not help my situation. I thought it was imperative that I find some quiet accomodation and rest away the day. I was in bed from noon yesterday until 7 this morning and I'm still afraid to eat anything. And surprisingly, I'm not hungry - just a bit light-headed.

Being sick while traveling is not the worst thing that can happen. In fact, you almost expect it at some point along the way. I didn't think, however, that I would be incapacitated and sweat through two blankets. I still feel a bit out of sorts, but it's time to move. I can't stay here any longer and I know a bus ride is far more manageable today. I am heading north to probably do nothing other than have a change in scenery.

Yesterday, I was going to a meditation retreat for 2 days at one of the local temples, but it was cancelled this week. So I took that as a sign it wasn't meant to be. Maybe they knew I would be down for the count. Another opportunity may arise down the road. If not, I think I'll manage.

I hope my minibus up north has air conditioning and foot massages and plenty of leg room. I can't say I'm in the mood to have my knees squished. I'm not in the mood for a lot of things.

The more I keep writing I feel the worse this post gets so I am going to say goodbye for now. I have no energy to make this one interesting. Just send some energy my way so I can be back on track for tomorrow! Until then...

Making an Alms Bowl

I have to say I was pretty uninformed prior to arriving in Bangkok. I did talk to a lot of people, got some recommendations and an overview of some important cultural taboos, but I had no plan of attack. I wanted it that way. I didn't want to get caught up on the things I had to see, where and when I was going next and I really didn't want to read the enormous Lonely Planet that I had only thus far flipped through to see the glossy color photographs. I would read it on the long plane trip and get some ideas I thought. Wrong. I slept. I ate. I chatted with my neighbors. No big deal, I have time to kill, I have finally been perusing its pages and slowly been picking up details I probably should have known prior to my arrival. Oh well!

One of those details is regarding an alms bowl. I had read about this community in Bangkok that still made alms bowls by hand. It apparently takes anywhere from 1 day to an entire week to make a bowl. The traditional bowl is made of metal and multiple pieces are hammered together to make this beautiful bowl that rings when you flick it right. Nowadays, most alms bowls are made in factories in India or China in probably 2 seconds.

So, what is an alms bowl? Hang on for just a second.

I had also read that monks made their morning rounds collecting alms. I had no idea where and from whom they collected alms. That was until this morning. Finally reading my LP book in my "hotel" I was distracted from my reading by this monk about my age shaking his bowl and kindly asking for a donation in a combination of English and Thai. Thaglish? Overflowing with generosity, I dropped some baht in his bowl, which was also overflowing with corn flakes. And then it all came together. Wala! I'm a genius.

For more videos of my trip, short ones I promise, thus far only of Bangkok and strip shows and the like, search tadpierce on You Tube and then click date added and the most recent videos will appear at the top. You're a genius!

Thank Buddha it's the cool season!

I am here during peak tourist season, otherwise known as the cool season - the most bearable time of the year for most tourists to this part of the world. It lasts from November through February. I have no idea what I would do if this was the hot season, where it gets "unbearably" hot throughout the region. Right now I am in an air-conditioned Internet cafe, before that I was lying nearly naked on my bed with my overhead fan on high and prior to that I was dragging my sore, burning feet through the hot, dirty streets of Bangkok seeking shade, cold water and something other than more plantain chips to fill my belly.

I am just not used to this. It's not HOT, it's certainly not uncomfortable and I certainly don't mean to sound like I am bitching. Quite the opposite. I am just happy as hell I am not here in April or May or June or whenever it truly gets hot around here. I'm sure I'd manage as the tourists do when they invariably come, but this is testing me enough thank you very much.

I like to drink water and I don't mind sweating, but usually prefer to do the latter when I am exerting some type of energy. Walking around just doesn't meet my definition of exerting energy. I suppose my boxers could be sticking to my legs and my shirt could be showing visible pit stains. I have nothing to complain about. Knowing what it could be like, I am grateful it is what it is. The cool season. Thank Buddha.

Final Measurements

Before I set off, I thought it would be ever so wise to document my current measurements. You never know if I am doomed to encounter a long and severe bout of dysentery or maybe I will gorge myself on Thai cuisine day in and day out until I swell to twice my current enormity. Or perhaps I will find myself in a Bangkok prison feeding on a small bowl of jasmine rice with a drop of fish sauce. Then maybe I'll look vegan, or like that emaciated image so many people seem to associate with veganism. Or perhaps, the likely scenario, is not much will change except for a slightly protruding abdomen. Either way, it's important (yes, it is!) to document this moment in time, for it will not be repeated.

Measurements as of December 3, 2007:

Head circumference: 17 3/4"
Height: 6' 2"
Weight: 195
*Left Bicep: 15"
Right Bicep: 14 1/2"
Chest: 43"
Waist: 34"
Inseam: 34"
Feet: 13
Shirt: L
Belly button: outie
Fingernails: longer than average with white dots on them
Penis: none of your business
Sticles: left hangs a bit lower

*Before you stop and think "Oh, the vanity!" just remember that this is a joke, it's for fun, for laughs, for no reason at all. Yes, I may be a bit vain, but come on, I haven't measured my biceps in at least 3 months.

Currently have five fingers and five toes on each hand, a full head of hair (I mean bald, I forgot about my last post), dry hands and healing cuticles. Oh, and I wear glasses. Not really a measurement, but just in case my vision comes clear on this journey east. You know, my purpose, the way, the tao...ha!