Slow boating the Mekong

Wow, that only took a good 30 minutes to sort through my pictures and finally select a scenic one for this post. Sometimes the internet cafes can be a bit deceiving with all their new-fangled top-of-the-line high-tech space-age gadgetry, but once you get online you realize even with all that, it ain't shit if you don't have a fast connection. So, here I am in Luang Prabang, Laos on Christmas Eve about to pound my keyboard whilst muttering profanities under my breath, spittle hitting the monitor. If you know me well, you'd know that a slow internet connection and sitting in traffic are among my top pet peeves. Instead of unleashing my fury and showing my ugly side, I have been ferociously nibbling away at my cashews thanking them for making me breathe. I need to do something about that, I know.

So, today is my first real day in Laos. I left the Thai border in Chiang Khong a couple days ago and took a ferry (i.e. a real skinny boat) across the Mekong River to Laos. There we dealt with the typical border chaos involving forms, passports and money exchange. Finally, we were shuttled off in the back of a pick-up, about 8 of us, to where the "slow boats" were docked. I had heard about this 2-day "slow boat" ride down the Mekong to Luang Prabang. It sounded so glamorous and a fantastic way to see the countryside.

Now that I am here, I would recommend it, but only for the experience. The first day, two boats departed, each with about 100 people on board. The wooden pew-like seating was probably some of the most uncomfortable I've had to endure in my life, but that's coming from someone who can barely endure two hours in a reclining cushioned seat at the movies. Alternating cheek to cheek, front to back, sitting on my sleeping bag, going for walks - nothing really worked to ease the pressure. It turned out to be more enjoyable in the back of the boat when the smokers had departed and all I had to inhale was diesel exhaust. At least I could stand against the rail.

The next day, after spending the night in a village solely dependent on the tourists that stayed there (it seemed that way), we were off again, this time both boats packed onto one. So, we had 200 or more people on a slightly larger boat crammed for 8 more hours! Fortunately I didn't get a regular seat and got one of those plastic stackable chairs instead. A pink one. Way more doable, but by hour five I was ready to swim the rest of the way.

It was time to smile and exhale when we finally pulled into town late afternoon yesterday. After walking through the markets and hearing virtually every guest house say "full" I opted for the more expensive, but fairly decadent room. It was $11 and I had a double bed, a single bed, overhead fan, a/c, own bathroom with a fantastically hot shower and overall very clean accommodation. For me, it was deluxe, but I wanted to spend less so I downgraded this morning. Now I've got a double bed and a shared bathroom for $6 for the next couple nights, the holidays. Instead of treating myself, I downgrade, how's that for a Christmas present?

But seriously, I'm not going to be spending the next couple days in my room or in the shower, so basic digs are all I need. The extra cash, I can find a way to spend. Maybe I'll update my wardrobe, a new t-shirt for 2 bucks, or pamper myself, an hour massage for 5, and maybe splurge on a few beers. Last night, I happened upon an outdoor vegetarian buffet for 5,000k which amounts to 50 cents. All-you-can-eat style, well at least as much as you can fit on a plate, then it's heated on a wok, thrown back on the plate and bam! Eat your heart out. If you want fresh salad rolls, that's a whopping extra 10 cents each with peanut sauce. And a beer Lao, a big one mind you, that's another dollar. So, if you want to meet me out here for Christmas, you know where to find me!