The need for speed

Ok, I don't really need speed. Not at all. But I do need my sweets and I need them soon. I can't help it, I absolutely thrive off of sugar and my blood sugar is getting perilously low. And I need to pee too and the combination is triggering some serious mental anguish. But I'm waiting for some videos to upload and I want to finish this post.

My overall need for sweets has been slightly reduced on this trip, partly because my intake of beer has increased. But at the same time, I feel like I need more sugar to fill the void left by a meager meal of more white rice and watery fried vegetables. No hearty vegetables, just a few carrots, some green beans, cabbage and a lot of onions. Sometimes I get lucky with some broccoli and cauliflower. I am grateful for those meals as I am when I get some tofu. But when I don't, pass me the hot chili sauce. Douse it up. And watch me lick every drop.

It was not like this in Thailand. The vegetables were cheap and abundant. And the sauces were spicy and delicious. And in Laos, well, I ate a lot of Indian food so I didn't run into the problem there either. Now, well, I'm going to bust into that package of Oreos in my hotel if I don't get my fix soon. And I'd rather not because I've already consumed more Oreos during this trip than I have in my lifetime. And I've had more 7UP than I've consumed in the last decade. What can I say, I am a sugar addict.

With a full bladder and a rumbling belly - and not to mention that my underwear is really digging into my upper thighs - I am bordering on that precarious level. That point when the hands start shaking and my lips start quivering. Give me some sugared peanuts. I need to go down to the market and find me something fast. Some peanut cakes, some sesame candy, coconut candy, anything with the word candy after it. Sorry, eating more fruit does not cut it. It's not the same. My body has evolved to need some processed crap. Shame on me.

If it's not sugar, which it absolutely is right now, it's coffee. I'm no addict by any means, but the Vietnamese coffee is absolutely delicious. I find myself needing it to break the sanity. Sometimes just sitting there alone in the morning I am too still, too aware of my situation and I can't stand it. One black coffee please. I find myself needing that little buzz to make life a little blurry. To make my head vibrate just enough to make me think about something else. To not care about sitting there alone. To make me feel all warm and fuzzy.

I'm not too worried about it all really. The need comes and goes. It is just an interesting observation. When the need arises, I fill it. I don't always fill it with sugar, coffee or beer. And I'm not always "sitting there alone in the morning." There are times I love sitting there alone with my thoughts. Alone with the chance to take some deep breaths. And I am exaggerating my level of addiction, so lay off! In the meantime, I'm going to go find some sugar, a beer and hopefully some Indian.