Good luck for you!

Remember that guy you saw who had three inch hairs growing out of that mole on his neck? And remember how you felt like buying the guy a razor or lending him some tweezers? Hell, you wouldn't even need tweezers. You could grasp those hairs between your fingers and tug away.

I just found out those hairs are lucky. They will bring you success with money. I don't know why I was never told this. Damn everyone! I have a lot of moles to stop shaving. So from now on, the razor will avoid the moles. The tweezer will no longer pluck. It was occasionally enjoyable. Like a q-tip orgasm. An aural massage. I said aural. Only different.

From now on, I will be a lucky man. My hairs will grow and grow and grow and so will my bank accounts. Just like that. I never knew it was that easy.