There is a place in Saigon called the Black Cat that serves a 500g hamburger. There is no prize if you "win" - only the knowledge that you can pack it in. You don't get your picture on the wall. You don't your burger free. You don't even get a pat on the back. Maybe a smile and a sideways glance from the server saying you are one disgusting son of a bitch.
A few weeks ago we went to this place. A couple of the guys attempted and accomplished the feat. It was pretty disgusting (for me) to see the quantity of meat being consumed although I'm sure I would have attempted it myself had it been 1998 and not 2008. Being the eater I am when I want to be, I knew I could have done it. I like a challenge. And so I said I would have tried - had it been a veggie burger.
We went to this place again last night. I overconsumed on junk food throughout the day and didn't need anything. Besides, it was already 10pm. But when it came time to order, more than one of my seated companions seemed to remember something about me being up for the challenge. So, I had to do it.
I was surprised the restaurant was willing to change their menu. I kind of expected ten Gardenburger patties, but was pleasantly surprised to see one gigantic burger and vegetable-grain-based patty. Pleasantly is not quite the word I was looking for, but it works. It actually looked a little too much like the others, but my fears were assuaged when I noticed mine wasn't sitting in a pool of blood.
The first half went down quite easy. It took some time, but it was still surprisingly tasting quite good. All the extra tomatoes, pickles and lettuce slowed me down, but maybe they'll speed things up now if you know what I mean. Slow and steady wins the race. That was running through my head. It wasn't really a race. It was each man against themselves. I kept going and going like the Energizer Bunny because I knew if I stopped to exhale, I might realize how sick I was actually feeling.
I finished the "burger" and I'm still feeling it now. I'll still be feeling it tomorrow. I'm done with eating contests. Unless maybe I can win something from it. There's got to be a reward other than a pat on the back from your friends. It's time to do a fast or something. Or some kind of detox. Because this is no way to feel. Get this shit out of me!
About Me
- tyler
- hi there, thanks for checking me out. i'd check you out too, if you were hot. so where do i begin? i'm a dude. in vietnam i'm a nguoi nuoc ngoai. in thailand i'm a farang, in indonesia i'm a bule and in malaysia i'm a orang putih. i was born and raised in northern california. spent most of my life there until i moved to portland, oregon in 2003 for a spell and then jumped ship for se asia in late 2007 to indulge in sticky rice and sunshine. you need it after living in the pacific northwest. thailand and i had a short love affair and i soon found myself falling for vietnam – at least all the pretty girls, the endless array of vegetarian fare, driving a motorbike, the overall energy – and became an english teacher. did that for nearly four years and nearly went insane. now i'm free again wandering aimlessly around se asia. on the lam. whatever.
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