Measurements part II

Originally, a long time ago, I thought if I made it this far in my travels, I might be somewhere in India at this point in time. Or maybe leaving India on an overland adventure to France. I figured I would have done a 10-day meditation retreat somewhere in India, gotten dysentery somewhere else in India and eaten an awful lot of curries throughout India as well. And so I imagined myself having shed a lot of weight and coming home looking a lot like I did in high school. Like a skinny motherfucker.

Some might question my need to use inappropriate language. To that, I say fuck off. But seriously, does it really matter? It is really offensive or is an alternative method to describe the matter at hand? A skinny beanpole just doesn't have the same ring to it. Back to what I was saying...

My plans for India got backburnered in Vietnam. The Indian restaurants will have to do for now. I didn't have the energy to keep going all the time and settling in seemed like a great idea. To stop moving about every few days. To have a purpose. A mission. To meet people that I might actually see again. To know that the language I am slowly learning will still be the primary means of communication in another week's time. Fortunately, I liked Vietnam. So, settling in did not sound like a bad idea at all.

It has been nearly five months and I just recently weighed myself for the first time. I hadn't seen a scale for that long. Not that I was looking. Well, there is one scale, like the one at your proctologist's office, that someone pushes around at night that sings and presumably only intoxicated people stand on. I didn't really want to pay a dollar or whatever it might have been to find out something I didn't care to know anyway.

But then I was told about the pharmacies. They all have scales. For free. Who would have thought? Pharmacies are abundant so I found my local Walgreens and stepped on for my free reading. I weighed in at 84kg, approximately twice the size of your average Vietnamese woman. And about half the size of your average female Western tourist. I am doing alright.

I have actually lost some weight, but not to the degree I thought. That is because I have yet to eat street food laden with feces. Or maybe I have, but the strength of my intestinal flora was too much for the offending bacteria. My goal was not actually to lose weight, I just figured I would. I think I am skinny enough. Which is funny since I am quite large compared to those around me. Well, except for the aforementioned Westerners.

My t-shirt size is now an XXL or XXXL. That is up from the size L traditionally worn by yours truly. In underwears, my usual size is a medium. Here, I tried XXL and they rode so far up my crack I had to use hot soapy water to get them out. I refuse to try XXXL just in case they don't fit either. That would be embarassing.