Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Questions I want answered

Why did this Vietnamese girl just tell me I need to eat more? I mean, yes, I'm skinny by Western standards, but I'm enormous by Vietnamese standards. I outweigh your brother, your father and every one of your friends by 30 kilos! And you, I'm twice your weight!

Why did I lose two toenails last week? Ok, they were half of my toenails. But what happened? Did I stub my toes? Am I eating too much rice? Too much B6? Too little iron? Too little protein? Too much fiber?

Why do I have this recurring hemorrhoid? Damn. Push it back in one day and it pops out the next. Go crawl back up that ass where you came from.

What kind of fungus is growing between my two smallest toes? I have never smelled toe cheese this foul. Who farted on moldy cheddar and spread it between my toes? Who did it? And I'm grateful for this, but why is it only between those two toes?

What girls are serious and who just wants my money? Who's really a good girl? With whom am I wasting my time?

Why can't I sleep? This has been going on far too long. I'm surprised I haven't lost it yet. I think it would be classified as chronic insomnia if I were to go to someone who might classify it as such. To me, it's sleep deprivation and I'm tired of waking up at 7am no matter what time I go to bed!

What am I going to have for lunch? What am I going to do this afternoon? Will I play pick-up football as I have in mind? What's going on tonight? Will I be a good teacher? Will I like teaching? What does the future have in store for me? Where will I end up? Will I get married? Will I have children? Am I ever going to get off the computer today?

More pertinent questions to be asked soon. Please comment if you have the answers.

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